Dear Readers: Why do the Raptors suck?
I wanted to write all sorts of things about this team, I really did. I wanted to write a poem or something funny, something stupid as shit, but kind of profound too. But really I find myself sitting here and realizing I am truly disappointed as a fan and once loyal supporter. So much so I can’t even really articulate my feelings towards this organization, what the fuck? What happened? Like we used to be not great, but not this bad, I think we’re never going to win a game again at this pace, it seems all they do is lose, and they aren’t even cool losses, hard fought losses or losing with style, no, these are just some why bother, maybe we should of stayed on the plane losses. We used to have some degree of respect in the league, but it seems we are now on the road to becoming a total NBA punchline….
ex: What did the Clippers say to the Wizards? At least we ain’t those Raptors eh?! (Okay that was awful, but I’m sure more witty and emotionally scaring jokes will be made up as time goes on.)
With that said I’m gonna throw this one to you loyal readers: Why do the Raptors suck?
This entry was posted on Thursday, March 12th, 2009 at 5:38 am and is filed under Dear Readers:, Randomness, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
March 12th, 2009 at 5:52 am
I think a group of aliens from the ugliest depths of the universe had stolen the talent of our players and were using that to beat Michael Jordan and a a gang of loony tunes in a basketball match for freedom or some shit like that…, upon realizing they had stolen the talent of the Raptors, which is equal to maybe that of a retarded amputee playing pool, they then tried to have the game postponed….however they could not and the Looney toons won the game quite easily MJ didn’t even play in the 4th quarter, but he still had a triple double…elmer fudd was game MVP, and then the aliens returned the talent to the Raptors….however they were very pissed they had lost so they used their alien magic to make us suffer. The effects of alien magic made our management make a bunch of HIGHLY QUESTIONABLE decisions, damn those alien bastards, damn them to hell!!! I’m sure somewhere out there Sam Mitchell and Rafael Araujo are in the mountains of Russia or wherever and laughing thier ass off while smoking then tripping out on some straight LOCO weed….they will then be informed of the state of the raps and they will continue to laugh…
thas my theory and i’m sticking to it.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Raptors are a euro trash bargain bin team, the teams too soft dont forget jose cryin like a bitch when garbagehosa got injured. Bosh is a female version of Whoopi Goldberg, and bosh is a good second option but not a true superstar. Kaponos a one dimensional player plus cant play D. Joey Grahams on/off.
Does the team even have a center…….. o bargnani another euro bitch he cant guard or rebound against real centers.
Main points: eurotrash — soft —-get these fucks outta here
March 12th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Eurotrash is definitely right but we gatta blame the mastermind more so than the players. Colagelo the once proclaimed savior of basketball in Canada had the plan of bringing in these pussies and now their getting destroyed night in and night out. What I don’t understand is why he doesn’t fix our glaring problem in the small guard position. As mentioned by Harry, Kapono is one dimensional and is the type of player that reflects the mood of the team. There will be nights the raps play good and those are the nights Kapono makes his shots. Parker and Graham are the same as Kapono – Inconsistent. Bosh is not a leader but the combo of Bosh and Bargnani could be amazing. But with Bosh scheduled to leave in 2010 there is little hope for the future. This rant could go on forever but I am not trying to ruin my day. So, I give them one more season to see what Colagelo can do, especially with a big off season coming up, and if no drastic movements occur– ABANDON SHIP.
March 12th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
“I’m sure somewhere out there Sam Mitchell and Rafael Araujo are in the mountains of Russia or wherever and laughing thier ass off while smoking then tripping out on some straight LOCO weed….they will then be informed of the state of the raps and they will continue to laugh…” HAHAHAHHAHA.
Yeah man, the Raptors need some black players. There’s like 9 paragraphs I could write on this subject, but I’d rather not.
“Used to goto games as a Raps fan, they had Vince then/ they traded him, ever since then son I hated em!”
March 12th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
March 12th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
The good days
March 12th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
My bad, tried to post a picture, but these haters won’t allow my HTML scripts to gwan.
March 12th, 2009 at 11:45 pm
yyoo the raptor faithful are a wild bunch of people eh….i like you guys’ style, but really i could not have said it better….Colangilo needs to wake the f**k up!!!
nice noreaga reference by the way…it made me cry a little bit….
March 14th, 2009 at 3:34 am
Sell the damn team off!
March 14th, 2009 at 4:45 am
I got 10 Reasons as to Why this Raptor team this year is just soo f*ckin SHIT and frustrating to watch..if we ever do (tsn 2 issue)
10. Our 2nd option at the point gaurd position is the same draft pick ROB BABCOCK chose back in 2004 (UKIC)
9. We Let our Best Assistant Coach .. JIM TODD walk out on us after the 47 win season after Sam Mitchell won COY award, mind you…he is the first person who came out and said SAM MITCHELL DOESNT LISTEN TO REST OF THE STAFF when its decision making time. (not tryna say Sam was an issue)
8. We Fired Sam, who our Franchise player was really CLOSE with, the same player we wanna keep HAPPY and motivated.. was so to say.. “heart break”… BTW; SAM MITCHELL was with KG for his first 3 or 4 years of his career.. he does sort of play an impact on BOSH’s development and also the fact Sam Mitchell was also a part of the coaching staff and organization after the 3 or 4 years of playing along side Kevin Garnett.. LOL HMMMMMMM maybe thats a reason why BOSH’s game declined?
SO FAR SO GOOD? i can write an essay still
7. We CHOOSE TO believe BRYAN COLANGELO is a BASKETBALL GENUIES OR THE JESUS OF ALL GM’s.. lol EENGGGHH.. HIS FATHER RAN THE SUNS BEFORE BRYAN COLANGELO CAME In.. HIS FATHER HOOKED HIM UP.. and HIS FATHER STILL GAVE HIS LIL BOY SUGGESTIONS ON WHO TO PICK etc etc etc.. SO MAYBE his father did that so he can become Part owners of the SUNS and just settle down while his Son ( OUR GM ) took over aka; do what he wants him to do. LOL
6. We declined JEROME WILLIAMS ( JYD ) an oppertunity to become a real part of our franchise by not letting him be apart of the management.. MAYBE if we listened to his IDEA we could of had our lazy ass team playing with more heart.
5. We could of really used ARUJOU or w.e his name is right now OVER CHRIS HUMPHRIES LOL… he did bring in 6 plus rebounds and a block every time he stayed out of foul trouble lol.. not good for a first round pick.. but a perfect played to pick up boards at garbage time of to grab boards and box out the other team while bosh/andrea rest…
4. WE loved JOSE soo much, we sucked his cock, we were ridin his dick..not pointin fingers at any one individually..it was all of us.. i personally was lovin TJ since day one, but not gonna lie..when he went down and Jose picked up his game last year i was cheerin… and deep down inside alot of people who loved TJ then had a lil love for Jose and would of probably offered his soft/homo euro ass a Handjob for each 10 + pts / 10 + assist game he had. NO HOMO clearly.
3. We saw Jose’s game with MOON, We Saw Tj’s game with MOON.. who did MOON excel under? who did Moon Shoot Jumpers under? hmmm… as you can see.. MOON is currently getting 2 Plus ALLEY attempt’s and ONE FAST BREAK JAM since he got traded..not saying his game is highly just dunks, he is still puttin up stupid shots here n there..but you know what..since he gets his dunks a stupid 3pt shot wouldnt hurt..and GUESS What .. HEAT HAVE A REAL STAFF..so they’re workin on his shot lol.. So the answer to this question… MOON played MOON BASKETBALL under TJ ford. lol
2. We hired a Gm who made the decisions on behalf of his FATHER in phenoix hoping he can turn us around, (which he did for 2 years).. Now lets asses Bryan Colangelo’s biggest Move, the #1 DRAFT PICK..ANDREA BARGS lol HMM.. An Italian Player, who was under the radar for a while, but when people did notice him prior the draft..he was expected top 15 pick not a top 5 selection, then Came into the Picture..Bryan Colangelo’s Father, who is the GM of the USA redemption team btw, when mr. Colangelo Sr was in italy growing up..he met Andrea Bargs father and over the years became BEST of FRIENDS literally….now Colangelo Sr’s best friends SON is a euro phenom and wants him to get a shot at the NBA..who does he call? THATS RIGHT FOLKS, its a f*ckin Conspiracy lollll But i dont mind it IF BARGS can put up 18 plus points, 6 plus boards, 2 plus boards and out of foul trouble for the rest of his career… lol let’s see..
1. We traded J.O for Marion hoping to Run..but then came to the realization JOSE cant run the BREAK …and admitting we TRADed the WRONG POINT GAURD haha
Btw; to who ever that says BOSH isnt # 1 option material, needs to realize BIG men dont usually score in the clutch.. yes you’ll see KG hit clutch baskets, Duncun hit Clutch 3′s, Shaq? clutch freethrows? lol, and others like hakeem and Robinson all fall in that category.. they never had break out 4th quater numbers on a close game because they all had HELP by Gaurds and wing players who would create shots and make shots down the line… KG had Wally, Sprewall, Cassel,Billups, Sam mitchel, Ray Allen, Pierce, Marbury, House.. NUFF said, Shaq? had.. KOBE, WADE, FOX, HORRY, WALKER etc.. Hakeem had a stacked rockets team and Duncun.. parker,ginobli,, etc… so stop going after Bosh for being an 2nd option…HES MISSING A FUCKIN 2nd OPTION lol. he’ll put up his 20/10 like any other big..but we wont WIN! till we have fuckers who can dribble, cut, pass, shot lights out without runnin around screens hoping JOSE passes the ball to them if they open for less then 2 seconds
AND WEBBER was in the same boat as BOSH.. SOFT..NO HELP..AMAZING NUMBERS..NO WINS..TILL HIS OWNERS got MONEY, GOT COACHES, GOT OTHER PLAYERS..AND WHAT HAPPENED? they WON..HE DROPPED EVEN BETTER NUMBERS..injuries and LAKERS were the only reason they didnt win the WEST Conf
A.L.I
March 14th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Die hard Raptors fans, seriously. A.l.i’s got it basically down to a Tee. however, forgot to mention, that the “BIG GUNS” at MLSE only care about ONE THING. and thats making money, The know that Toronto is a Die hard sports city and no matter if our team wins 1 game out of the season, were GONNA sell jerseys and were GONNA sell seats out, no matter WHAT!. (good on a business stand point, bad on a franchise level). Its been happening with the Raptors since they got into the NBA, and now were seeing it with the Leafs even more so. Basically MLSE is like the bush government.. They have power, but have no fucking clue what to do with it. As for Bosh, this guy can play but his conditioning is WHACK, he takes more jump shots then he drives to the net, he HAD the potential to be another Garnett but failed horribly in a system which had NO DEVELOPMENT whatsoever. Ok so lets get into depth now, at first i thought u know what we dont have the right pieces in coaching to DEVELOP players… then i look at the players we used to have.. Damon stoudamire = Had a pretty decent career. Tracy mcgrady = Superstar until he went joe buddens and started doing crazy shyt, Vince = dispite what every raptors fan says, Vince was the only reason we had a good team those few years. MARCUS CAMBY = how many boards and block shots has he been getting the past couple of years?.. MATT BONNER = (lol, but he was starting in spursland for a bit). Chauncy billups = DO I NEED TO SAY ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT HIM>?, i can go on with other players but u get the point… The thing in toronto, The players get too SHOT HAPPY, u get dudes who before comming to toronto they all slashers and drive to the basket. I guess its the cold weather that makes them shot happy. Vince turned into a shot happy tard, bosh is a shot happy softie, actually wait, how come in usa basketball he plays like a REAL power forward, but in toronto hes taking mid ranges all day?.. man i can talk about these dudes all day, but fuck it… on a lighter note…. HOOPDOME.COM … Ted batner, Glen grunwald, and PAUL JONESY!… Smartest idea they coulda done, just checked it out yesterday for the first time, and this place is a HAVEN, 4 full courts, and 3 street courts.. Good runs, and open all year round.. and the infamous TORONTO LEAF SAYING now applies for the RAPtors ” THERES ALWAYS NEXT YEAR ” ………………….
March 15th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
very good responses…….Im quite impressed by our readers yoo…at least they won today…yaa!!!